can i please be?

umm... i am finding it extremely hard to talk these days. rather be civil to just about anyone. in fact it is a task to even talk to people i used to spend hours talking to everyday. i am feeling a little guilty about it as i do care about all these people in question but every effort on my part seems so fake that i would rather not do it. its not that i am upset about anything or anything is the matter. it is just that i have run out of things to talk about. and also nothing seems to excite me also these days. so i just want to stay in my room and read. 

the last coupla months i have indulged in lots of food and work and alcohol and friends and one particular delicious boy. 

there were the two consecutive exhibitions in delhi and mumbai where it was constant interaction with people. it was one and a half months of madness at the end of which there are several neglected and therefore unhappy clients, new opportunities and serious decisions to be made.

the 14 days in mumbai where the sista! , pops n me OD'd on crabs and fish in every possible curry and with every possible appam n doasa and biryani. terry aunty pampered us with different flavoured ice creams and wasabi peas. there was also lots of alcohol involved.

then it was diwali , the perfunctory gifting and taash parties where again lots of food and alcohol, too many smiles and polite conversations.

n shaadis. one after another. two cousins got married. another relative im vaguely aware of.and two acquaintances got married. another cousin getting married. another friend getting married. 

and most importantly the boy and me have gone out for dinner/lunch whenever both of us have been in town. im talking large spreads of korean food, tuesday nights at yum yum tree, surmai, fish biryani, sushi, dim sums, sui mai, thukpa, shawarmas. and everytime there has been lots of alcohol. n then there was the 2 days getaway to mussorie with the boy and roy which pushed me over the edge. i was already feeling the effects of the stay-away-syndrome before i left but just didnt have the heart to say no to the boy. he is definitely adorable. 

and i think i have done too much of it. im done. for a while atleast or maybe i just need to lay low for a while. but the fact that nothing seems to excite me one bit does bother me. i pretend to sleep to avoid talking to people. i have told my mother to not discuss too many things with me(in the politest possible manner) and i am also not making any special effort to meet the boy.

radhe! i do love u to bits.