from maharaja regency to model town

“Ma’am, address kya hai?”

Did I get everything from the room? Where is my phone?! Oh, right here.

“773-L, Model Town”

“Koi landmark Ma’am?”

I do not know roads in Delhi still and you expect me to know Ludhiana?!

“Nahin, mujhe Ludhiana ke bare mein zyada nahin maloom”

I wish I had gotten something to eat. But no, good I didn’t. I really need to loose weight now. I will loose at least 5 kgs before my birthday. Did that sample reach Mrs. Suri? I should call and find out. I need to send out that quotation today to Kavita. Is that “Jahajj” written at the back of the car? N then these sardars wonder why they are made fun of!

“Ma’am, aapko pata hai Ashmit da ghar bhi yahin si?”

“Ashmit?”

“Aap Ashmit nu nahin jande?” (accompanied by an almost derogatory chuckle)

Ashmit!?

“Uh-huh”

“Woh Indian Idol wala! Jiski abhi death ho gayi!”

Indian Idol! I’ve forgotten when the last time I saw TV was. Actually, it was last night. But that was just because I had a TV to myself in a hotel room. Death!

“Death kaise ho gayi?

“Bas puchoon mat tusi! Uugta hua sitara doob gayaa Ma’am. TV Producer, film waale sab line lagaa kar peeche the usske. Deal wagar bhi sign ho chuki thi. Par kisi ne maar daala usse.”

Oh yeah I did read about some Ludhiana guy become a singing sensation. But he died? How come I never even heard about it? I really need to start watching the news everyday. Otherwise I’ll become one of those dumb women who have no clue about their whereabouts and their surroundings.

“Par kissne maara? Koi kyuun mare ga?

“Pataa nahin Ma’am. Aaj kal zamaana hi nahin theek. Pool mein death ho gayi uski. Lagtaa hai aapko TV ka shauk nahin?”

He died in a pool! But how? How come I never heard about it?

“Nahin. Aisi koi baat nahin.”

I cannot believe I am in Ludhiana again. This visit better be productive. Why did I have to be stuck in Ludhiana of all the places. Because people out here have money to spend girl n not enough brain as to how. He calls me cheech! How adorable is that! How far are we? Places in Ludhiana usually aren’t that far. This site visit better be worth it.

“Abhi kitna duur auur?”

“Bas Ma’am ponche ki ponche!”

Ponche ki ponche! :D Papa used to say that during road trips! Who is this Puneet anyway? How can a woman be called that? I am already 15 minutes late! I should call her. N I should also ask her for a landmark.

“Aapko pata hai na kahaan jana hai?”

“Ma’am aap koi landmark pata kar lo. B Block mujhe nahin pata kahaan hai”

B Block?! There is no block. Its 773 –L

“Hello Mrs Puneet…. Yeah, I am nearby…No, no… Oh, even you haven’t reached?...yeah, yeah, I don’t know much about Ludhiana…can you give me a landmark…uh-huh…we are near 750-R…where would L be?...oh the whole area is in L & R (left & right)…here…wait wait…let me give the phone to the driver”

How would I know where the red board near Khalsa Girls College is! He must be sleeping right now. Ill call him around 6.

“Haanji madam….Haan haan….achha…acha achha…theek hai madam…theek hai theek hai…accha accha aap chadha saab ke yahaan se bol rahe hain?..haan haan madam.”(Shuts the phone)

“Samajh liya?”

“Haan haan ma’am. Aap tension mat lo. Jab hum bhi dilli jaate hain to hamko bhi kuch nahin pata lagta.”

Ok then! Now, take me there quickly. And please drive a little faster. I hope my laptop is charged.

“……hmmm yeh B block kahaan hai?”

“B Block! B Block nahin jaana!!!”

“Aree haan haan. Main confuse ho gaya tha!”

Are you kidding me! Didn’t you just listen to detailed directions? And didn’t you just say you knew them? Or did you just pretend to know them? I am going to be late for the meeting. And then I ‘ll be late for the meeting after. And then I’ll miss the train! What if I miss it? Another day in Ludhiana!?! NO! I’ll make him take me till the next station! But the next one isn’t till Ambala Cantt.! I’ll also miss the chicken in the train then!

“Aap please phir se kissi se samajh lo.”

What is with all drivers? Why cannot they properly ask for directions once and for all? And how the hell does driving so slowly help in looking for some place. We have to go to 773-L. This is 690-L. Clearly we are moving in the opposite direction because we were at 750-R 3 minutes back! Can you quickly just turn back? Why does every movement have to be so deliberate and calculated when I clearly know that it is not because, if it was, we would not have been moving in the opposite direction. So even if you don’t know where you are going. Please drive fast. Because driving slowly just pisses me off all the more!

“Aap U turn le lijiye. Mere khayaal se peeche reh gaya.”

“Theek hai Ma’am. Dekh lete hain”

“Thooda jaldi chala lijiye please. Iske baad ek aaur meeting hain.”

“Kitne baje Ma’am?”

“Bas, bas, Yahin ruko..…Yahaan par dekho…Shayad yahi hai….Yeh Corner house. Haan haan…

Haan ye rahaa!”

Finally! Ok where is my laptop? This better be good.

“Aap yahin ruko. Oh hello! You must be Mrs. Puneet! Its good to have finally met you!”