the whole enchilada!

I am not doing so well today. I got a sunday off after months today. And it somehow made me miss a lot of people.  I was, till a couple of years back, not the very emotional, sentimental type. In fact! I was known to not have any emotions whatsoever. I cringed at the very thought of hugging. The usual "awwws" and "love u!" among girlfriends were rarely directed towards me. Simply because I always made a face. When I finally got myself a boyfriend, I remember a friend of mine actually went to the extent of imitating me( how she thought I would look like) while having sex, bored and telling the guy to get done with it! Even in my house I am, most of the time, treated as one with zilch feelings. My mother coochie-coos my brother and sister and I am mostly just ignored. Ok, there are times she has tried, but I feel so awkward I usually just make a face. That keeps her from trying for a while. Anyway, getting back to where I started, I am not liking this emotional self o...

lets just say I had become a cynic. i was the epitome of practicality. i could do nothing if i couldn't talk sense and be all logical about everything under the sun. i had written off all sort of frivolity and i was the "don't-mess-with-me", sensible, no-nonsense, work is life (almost preachy) 23 year old. life was all about a phone which rang nonstop, meeting targets, sweet talking prospective clients, hiring new people, drinking chai with bank managers and at regular intervals, wondering why, just WHY?! don't i just take up a job and get rid of all the hassles. my girlfriends( i love them!) were all that i ever looked forward to(socially that is). sleepovers, meeting at the "tea shop", going for shawarmas and TC(now opus). i had secretly started hoping that i was a lesbian at heart. i would never ever have to handle a guy then. or face the traumas of a relationship. my life was perfect. mommy pampering me n me working my ass off, trying to make somethi...